


Subwoofer Lullaby

by EvanMin



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Choi Yeonjun is in love, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Idiots in Love, Just a mess of gay shit, Kissing, M/M, Nonbinary Choi Soobin, They/Them pronouns for Choi Soobin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvanMin/pseuds/EvanMin
Summary: "Did you get enough love? My little dove, why do you cry?"***That feeling of comfort, of relaxation. Where you’d take in a deep breath and your shoulders would drop loosely. It was the same feeling he got whenever he kissed the nape of his lover in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Subwoofer Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> *Song I listened to legit the entire time I wrote this, [here](https://youtu.be/JTeKpWp8Psw)
> 
> *Title inspired by [this](https://youtu.be/ibUOxEBxVsE)

* * *

The smell of clean linen from freshly washed sheets was something Yeonjun appreciated. When you cleaned your room and the floor was swept, comforter and pillowcases were nicely washed and warm. 

You’d smooth out the little wrinkles and folds with your fingertips, just grazing the surface. Even as you sat on the mattress you tried not to mess anything up. Being particular you’d adjust the pillows and make sure nothing toppled over when you took a seat. 

Candles recently lit with the wandering smell of the smoke of matches slowly burning out on the dresser surface. The room would be comfortable, not too cold or warm. Just perfect. Yeonjun wouldn’t mind the markings of burned wood and scraped paint on his old dresser either. It was old and sturdy. Having lasted him all his childhood and here it was now as well. 

That feeling of comfort, of relaxation. Where you’d take in a deep breath and your shoulders would drop loosely. Because cleaning your room or even a small portion of it was like taking a break. Changing your environment and welcoming a brand new one. Finally letting yourself relax and breathe even for just a second.

It was the same feeling he got whenever he kissed the nape of his lover in the middle of the night. When his brain wouldn’t shut up. Just spewing thoughts upon thoughts until his head hurt and ached for relief. 

Lighting a candle was the same as rubbing his nose across the juncture of his partner's shoulder. Until the small hairs that had grown a little longer and awkwardly brushed past the tip of his nose. Taking a deep breath of their scent, the softest of fabric softener, and their light perfume. 

It wasn’t fresh or potent. Just faint across their skin. It would’ve been sprayed across beautifully soft collarbones that morning before they left. With their clothes recently washed within that week. Yet it would still comfort Yeonjun in every way. 

Soobin was always that way. Quiet and subtle in every way, living their life as simple as they could. Yeonjun could remember it like it was just yesterday when they had met and had a few short conversations with one another. When Yeonjun was still awkwardly stilted with himself, afraid to even stand the wrong way. His feet constantly shuffling across the floor not knowing what to do with himself. 

Soobin was soft-spoken yet opinionated. When they spoke it was passionate like a flame in the pit of their stomach that would never go out. Fierce and everlasting. It was why Yeonjun had fallen so hard for them and their charm. Like a moth, he couldn’t help but have a hunger and an obsession with their light. 

It was why he felt like despite their short little talks here and there it was like they knew him. Really, _really_ knew him. More than his friends ever did, it was like he was _understood_. Like Soobin had dropped him in a dictionary and read him so well, every single example on the side to describe him they studied. Over and over again running their soft brown eyes over his form like they were depending on it. 

He constantly felt bare, nude, under their gaze. And it was easy to dismiss that at first as admiration. Like he was just so happy to have found a friend that he wanted to drown in them. Sure, it was intense. His feelings for Soobin were always that way and he mostly wrote it off as something entirely _new_. 

“I haven’t had a genuine friend like them before,” he’d rationalize to himself when he couldn’t sleep at night. Too busy thinking about what Soobin thought of him to really rest. Not when he was waiting for their text, when he was waiting for them to do something _bad_ so he could get out of this daze. 

_“That’s all,”_ he huffed out. 

Yeonjun waited and waited for them to mess up. For them to somehow break out of character and show their true colors and yet it never happened. And he fell deeper and deeper in love with them. Yes, _love_. 

Not friendly infatuation or a friendly little crush he had on them. It wasn’t admiration. Not when he wanted to kiss them. Not when Yeonjun wanted their parents and siblings to like him. Not when he was trying to burrow himself into their life so they couldn’t get rid of him if they wanted to. Spurting his roots out until it entangled into their everything that they couldn’t escape. 

Like a dark bramble seed. His roots would burst and quake and he’d sprout these flowers. Flowers which their middle was an empty abyss and if you were to gaze into it you could see an endless array of other flowers with more and more space and abyss bored into their middle. Like inception, like a milky way of more and more universes packed into himself. Like a black hole. 

Just endless love and emotions he felt. Trying to dig into them until there was a perfectly dug out Yeonjun-shaped hole. 

Though, now they were together. 

* * *

  
  


The morning sun crept into the room and danced across the sheets and skin of Yeonjun’s lover. Sleeping curled up in a ball, their shirt rose up past their stomach and pajama shorts rose up past their thighs. The sun hit their skin ripples of soft light and blanketed them where the sheets and comforter had not. They were entangled in the fabric as it wrapped around their waist, falling over their face and arms while the bottom half of them was exposed. 

Yeonjun had always been the one who woke up earlier before Soobin. He found happiness in watching them sleeping so peacefully in their own little world as they breathed out little puffs of air. 

His fingers would run lightly across the expanse of tanned soft skin, pulling down their shirt and shorts. He’d throw his own blanket over them for extra warmth, wrapping his arms around their waist and kissing at their neck with happy little hums. 

“Hyung,” Soobin whined out, swatting his hand at the elder. 

“Hmm?” he hummed out. 

“No kissing, too early, m’tired”

Yeonjun pouted, throwing his legs around them, “But I love you”

“I will _eat_ you, let me sleep,” Soobin wrapped the blanket around themselves even more, trying to cocoon themselves away from the outside world. Yet still leaving their head out, their hair in curly little tufts all wild and sprawled across the pillow. 

Yeonjun left one last kiss on their temple with a smile, running his hand down their side, “Alright, hyung will leave you alone” 

Mornings were always calm like this, warm and quiet. Like lukewarm water, the surface rippling with the slightest touch. The water-like silk would fall down delicately down your limbs. Trickling past your fingertips in tiny droplets and falling into the pool below. 

Soobin was always like that water, that warm and calm water you slowly dipped yourself into. Not wanting to disturb the peace, not wanting to crackle and split the smooth surface. Being with them at first was slow and steady, Yeonjun would slowly dip his limbs into the water until he was encased in it all. He’d jump if he saw ripples were too big or he’d disturbed too much too quickly. But over time he realized the best way to enjoy it was to jump in all at once. 

To not tread lightly as if Soobin would break beneath his fingertips. Being careful was one thing, but holding yourself back and suffocating yourself was not good to do. It was better to dive in and respond to the ripples and splits in the water like a conversation. If they pushed, he’d pull. 

* * *

  
  


If you would’ve said that Yeonjun would be living with Soobin in a shared apartment where he’d wake up and kiss them awake. Where he’d get up and make them breakfast after admiring their cute toes peeking from under the blankets. He wouldn’t have believed you. Because for so long it was… empty and cold having feelings for Soobin. It was warm and welcoming, sure, but then he thought of his feelings not being reciprocated. He thought of ruining their delicately cultivated friendship. 

Being able to run his fingers over their face and kiss their soft cheeks was a blessing. Blowing away loose eyelashes off their face and sometimes brushing their bags out of their face. It was something he dreamed of long ago, where he’d squeal and hide his flushed cheeks into his pillows and hope that Soobin couldn’t read his mind. 

Now here Soobin was next to him, under their sheets as they snuggled their face into the pile of pillows on their bed. 

Wisps of white, steam, hovered their breakfast on mornings like this. Mingling with the steam leaving their shared bathroom after Soobin had their morning hot shower.

Their hair would be fluffy yet damp, curling at the ends. Lips turned up into a pout naturally as they approached the dining table with their feet softly dragging across the wooden floor. Their cheeks were pink, flushed from their hot shower. It was always pink, like a dusty peach over the apples of their cheeks.

Soobin’s skin was always sensitive yet soft and plush. Like rice cakes, it was squishy and warm, with a push of just the pads of your fingertips had his skin stretching and moving easily. But it would bounce back the minute you released pressure. 

At first, it had been out of sheer curiosity that Yeonjun’s had pulled on their cheeks and watched in fascination as it effortlessly bunched up between his forefinger and thumb. Their skin stretched, like fabric, just smooth and effortlessly. But it bounced back after he’d let go of his supple flesh. 

But then Yeonjun wanted to know what other parts of them had been so squishy and stretchy. What parts were supple and would redden over the smallest of pressure? It had been a question on his mind for a while. 

It started at their arms, whenever Yeonjun found himself holding Soobin’s hand. Sitting on the couch pressed together as they watched whatever show had been playing on their flatscreen that afternoon. He pressed kisses to their red knuckles absentmindedly and for fun had pressed kisses down their wrist and forearm. 

Suddenly he bit, softly, just to see what would happen. This too had stretched but caused Soobin to swat at his face, “Hyung, I bruise easily, be careful” they had warned. 

But then it went to soft kisses and rubbing his face into their stomach. Soobin was fluffy, squishy, and warm to the touch. To gripping at their thighs whenever he’d lay his head there whenever they sprawled across the couch. 

Yeonjun loved how his fingers would leave marks even when he pressed lightly against their skin. This fascination led to admiration, suddenly Yeonjun loved watching how the light bounced off their skin. Kissing at any inch of skin he could get too before Soobin was pushing his face away in fits of giggles. 

“It tickles hyung!” 

That laughter like bells and windchimes, so delicate and yet fleeting. It wasn’t anything more than out of care and admiration that he felt himself wanting to press them close against him. It was pure wonderment and love that Yeonjun wanted to immerse himself into Soobin.

  
  


Sometimes Yeonjun loved Soobin more than the sunset. Even if the air was warm and the soft chill breeze across his face gave him comfort. He’d throw it all away for just a glimpse at the younger. To gaze at their warm eyes that had glitter reflecting in them was a blessing in itself. 

Feelings would rumble in them too, like a flame wafting in the air. It would flicker and chirp as his heart did in his chest. Humming and buzzing under the surface. If you came close, pressing an ear to his chest you could hear it. 

Muffled like music behind a door. So faint yet so clear you could sing word for word without issues but sometimes it was still difficult to decipher it. Sometimes you’d lose your placement in the song, like forgetting a tune halfway. 

It was in simple terms how he’d love Soobin. By finding metaphors, similes, anything to try and define how he really felt. Which was a bunch of jumbled up emotions he couldn’t decipher. Like a bun of pins dropping to the buffed and smooth linoleum floor. Like buckets of water falling over until puddles covered the entire surface. Not bleeding into the floor below, just staying stagnant. Forever still and growing more and more. Until all there was, was water. 

Like a broken faucet, pouring forevermore. 

Sometimes Yeonjun was scared to touch his lover. Like they were a painting waiting to dry. The oil paints layers not even close to dry and any sudden movement would stain his hands and clothes. Unable to ever come out as if it imprinted into his skin. 

Kisses, embraces, and even the slightest of skin brushing past him would burn. And yet Yeonjun couldn’t help but let it linger there. The stains, the scars didn’t matter to him. As long as Soobin was something tangible to hold and admire. 

“Hyung,” Soobin would call out when the morning had turned from the quiet chirping of birds and instead of a loud silence. Like when a house was empty for so long while you were out, coming back to your voice bouncing off the walls and humming down the halls. 

They’d wake up hours later to eat sometimes, needing an hour or two to actually wake up and function. But now wide awake, Soobin settled in Yeonjun’s lap at the dining table, kissing his forehead with a soft hum. A rumble from deep within almost like a purr. 

Sweater half off their shoulders leaving an expanse of golden skin behind for the sun to hit. For Yeonjun’s fingers to brush past when he slid his hands under the fabric to press them closer together. Their ruffled pajama shorts weren’t wrinkled, pulled fresh out of the dresser drawer. 

“You put on another set of pajamas?” Yeonjun asked with an amused grin. 

“I wanted to look cute and be comfy, sue me,” they pouted, leaving a playful slap to his shoulder. 

But then they’d press their plush lips against his. Breathing in deeply like he was a flower, a tree granting them fresh air. Leaving it delicate like petals slowly blooming open and brushing past other blooming flowers. 

Sometimes they’d run a swift tongue over his bottom lip and it would only be a tiny tangle of their tongues before they pulled away from one another. Pressing foreheads together. Yet it would still leave Yeonjun in a daze, his body heating up and rumbling by the taste of mint across his taste buds. 

It’s all he needed, all they needed. Nothing more or less than a warm kiss. It felt like when you’d get toasty over and open fire in the cold, your hands seeking warmth amidst the cold chill night air. Nothing intense, not like wrapping yourselves in several blankets, it was as soft as an embrace. Those hugs you give where you can feel the hand on your lower back running soothing circles there. 

“Coffee,” Soobin grimaced. They never really did like coffee, but Yeonjun did, and it wouldn’t stop them from kissing him either. Because it was just how he tasted, how he smelled sometimes too. Like the roasted coffee beans had seeped into his pores and skin until he smelled like a cafe with hints of cologne. 

“Mint,” he replied with a smile. 

Soobin scoffed, “Not comparable, I’m fresh and minty and you are a coffee pot” 

“I had _one_ cup”

“One too many for me,” they smiled, he swooned. 

Like waves crashing upon a shore, tickling the bottom of your feet. Soft ripples caressing your calves. It was warm now, or maybe the cold was more tolerable now because you got used to it, but it was still comfortable. 

Kind of like when you cup your hands in the sink and let the water puddle into your palms. It slid off in large dribbles of water droplets like down a windowpane. It felt soft and silky like fabric through your fingers yet so indescribable as well. 

Like water rushing down your face and through your hair in the shower. Soobin felt like that trickle of warmth down your back. Like your nerves being shot all at once, tingling and roaring feelings down your core. Yet you act like nothing of the sort is happening. Panicking on the inside while sitting calmly by yourself. 

Soobin was many things. Enraped and entangled in the little things in Yeonjun’s life that he didn’t even think about until now. You never realize the importance of such lackluster and normal moments in life until someone makes it important to you. Until someone shows you the true deeper meaning behind it all. 

They were in everything Yeonjun did. When it came to dreaming and living his life they were in his thoughts at all times. He thought of how their day went, if they ate, or if they slept well. 

When he cooked or bought food it was always on his mind what Soobin liked before his own interests. One thing would tumble into many things that involved the younger. But it wasn’t suffocating. It wasn’t unhealthy like he couldn't do anything without them, it was what came with loving and caring about someone. 

And whenever Soobin brought up something he said weeks ago, whether it be a book he read or a movie he wanted to see he felt it then too. Whenever they texted him reminders to eat and sleep well if they were out late. He knew. He always knew. 

He knew that Soobin loved him too, like he loved them. He knew that they thought of him, talked about him to their friends, and cared about him every single day. In the way Soobin would run their fingers through his hair whenever he was a little down or tired from a long day. Or when they’d ask him about an interest he’d picked up recently, letting him rant for hours even if they understood none of the words or references.

“It’s okay If I don’t understand,” Soobin spoke softly, “I will, sooner or later”

And they proved that by reading up on the topic, or drowning in videos explaining it all. Endless minutes delving into something Yeonjun liked, just because _he_ liked it. I mean, Yeonjun too would find himself drowning himself in studies if his lover mentioned something they wanted to do, a book they wanted to read, or even a place he wanted to go. Whenever he found something they might like he’d buy it right away, or send them pictures or links to it.

Just to let them know they were precious. That his mind was filled with them and only them and they needed to know. They had to know that he loved them so dearly, and that he knew they loved them too. They pouted when he talked down about himself and listened intently whenever he wanted to vent about the heavy feeling on his chest after a long week. 

Soobin listened, they let him speak before saying anything. And whenever Yeonjun crossed the line, whenever he belittled himself too much their brows would furrow as they shook their head.

They spoke seriously, “I can’t let you get away with talking about yourself like that” 

“I-I know, I just--” he’d try to rationalize, try to make excuses for something that shouldn’t be meaninglessly excused. 

“I won’t forgive you if you keep speaking that way. You can feel that way, of course you can, and I’ll listen”

“You always have,” Yeonjun budded in. 

“That’s right,” they nodded, “But I can’t have you belittle yourself when you’re this amazing person. Anything you say that claims otherwise is _wrong_. You’re wrong” 

Soobin’s eyes would be fierce and serious, a look he rarely saw on their eyes. No, they were usually soft and playful and full of light. Not this dull, serious, searing look they threw his way. They meant business, they always did whenever they spoke. And it was moments like this where he really knew that he was loved, that someone was _in love_ with him. 

“I wouldn’t have loved you if you were truly this horrible person you think you are”

But they’d still listen, they wouldn’t get upset or disappointed in him. They’d understand and pull him back up. 

They’d wrap their limbs around him, their taller and longer limbs. Cradling him and comforting him like a security blanket as they pressed a kiss to his temple. So soft, so fleeting. 

“I love you,” Yeonjun would whisper against their shoulder. 

“I know,” they’d giggle, “I’m a catch”

They really were.

* * *

  
  


The warm feeling of freshly washed and dried clothes was always comforting to Yeonjun. The way you were instantly warmed up with your skin flushed if you decided to jump on and rub your cheek against the fabric. Your fingertips would radiate the heat as you put them away. 

The same way your fingertips would redden and heat up when you held a warm cup of coffee. The cold ceramic mug would be heated up instantly but never burn. No, it always got really warm but never hot. Just a comforting heat like your hands over the flickers of a campfire. 

But what was more comforting, was the heat of Soobin’s hands in his. When their palms would face one another and their fingers would be entangled with the others, holding tight like a vice. 

He didn’t mind the clamminess of their palms, no not at all. He loved how easily Soobin got flustered, basking in his view like a sunset. Their hand was bigger than Yeonjun’s, by a lot he’d say but it was charming. He adored every single part of them. Especially when their cheeks would flush pink and they’d whine. 

“Hyung, my hands are sweaty! I’m disgusting,” they’d pout as they tried to get their hand from his grasp.

“It’s alright, dude I’m fine” 

“You’re disgusting too holding my wet noodles for hands!” 

But he didn’t listen. No, instead he’d coo and press soft pecks to their face over and over again. 

“They’re my wet noodles and you will not talk down at them like that,” Yeonjun would whine himself, kissing at their knuckles. 

It was the same type of warmth you’d get from feeling someone else pressed up beside you, thighs pressing together. You could feel their heat radiating off of them and if they were to suddenly pull away you’d be left with cold. Like a blanket being thrown off you in the night or the waft of cold air whenever you’d pull back the shower curtains. 

Soobin was his comfort. They were his warm cup of coffee, freshly washed sheets, and the calmest of waters. And he knew that he was their comfort too. Their soft gaze only for him proved that, their soft whispers and embraces that were just for Yeonjun. He knew. They knew. 

And that’s all he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> *I'm open to any criticisms and tips to help write better nonbinary characters! I hope I did this justice or even an okay job because I want more representation within my writing.


End file.
